So, I’m already behind schedule with what I set out to achieve with a weekly posting!  Due to a few activities clashing into the same week, my precious mummy time while my son is at preschool has vanished over the last couple of weeks.  So I have been busy with lots of lovely things, but have had no protected time during the day.  Today I am being creative by taking the time between swimming lessons and when my husband finishes his class at the gym to sit in the gym reception with my laptop having signed my son into the kids club!  In fact I’m thinking this is a pretty crafty idea as I like to take a break between swim days myself and as I swam yesterday and plan to do so again tomorrow, I don’t even feel guilty that my child is in the kids club and I am not exercising!!

So last week we hit a milestone – an anniversary.  The 9^th October 2013 was the day we took our son our 6 suitcases, the stroller and a car seat onto a flight from the UK and landed in the states at the beginning of our big adventure.  The following day, the 10^th October was the day we arrived in the area we are living in – the high desert of California.  We started our time here living out of a hotel while we purchased the basic things we needed for our new home.  We had already completed a familiarisation visit about six weeks prior, so we had the house lined up and contracts had been sorted during the time we had been back in the UK packing up our family home.  So we picked up the keys and arranged for furniture and kitchen essentials to be ordered, delivered and purchased.  The rest is due its own post or multiples of, but for now I’ll concentrate on this milestone.

Twelve months!  So how does it feel?

Some periods of the last year have been really tough and some have felt very long.  Others have sped by and I realise that I haven’t turned the page on the calendar and we are already into the following month.  There have been times of isolation, loneliness and homesickness.  There have been times of pure fun and excitement where spirits are high and all is well with the world.  The best and the worst of emotions all rolled into one.  There are times when I count my blessings and think how I wouldn’t have had the amount and quality of time with my child if it weren’t for the move.  And times when I have missed elements of my previous life in England.

At the worst (near the beginning) I had to call my husband home from work (well text as I couldn’t form a sentence let alone make a call) when I felt so sad and so lonely and I needed to cry and cry but didn’t want to let my two year old at the time see me that way.  I needed to go hide in my bed and know that my son was safe playing while I cried into my pillow and let it all out.  That was a bad day.

Then last winter we had our first trips out to the mountains and we skied and skied as much as we could pack into the time we had while our son had his first ski lessons.  I love ski-ing!!  The buzz, the mountains, the trees, and the way it totally calms me and reconnects me with nature and the wonder of the world we live in.  And, I had that moment of mummy proudness as I saw my three year old by then, on his skies and heard about his first trip up the mountain on the chairlift and his first green run!

We have been to the beach as much as we can, to visit friends we already knew before the move, and so my husband can surf and we can play.  His Christmas present to himself last year was a custom board.  He loves the ocean and we love the beach and playing in the waves so everyone is happy.  Another place to reconnect – I always feel happy at the beach.

At the beginning I did a lot of hiding from friends back in England.  Self-preservation in some ways as I wasn’t in control of my emotions and needed to put what emotional energy I had into making a new life.  I emailed when I could but basically abstained from social media for quite some time.  I’m still not great, but getting better!

So now we are at the end point of our first year and I am in a much more positive place.  I have made new friends, connections and networks.  My son has joined into groups and activities and has a schedule that steers me and keeps me busy and focused.  Places are more familiar and basic things like food shopping have become easier as we have become more familiar with brands and types of food available.  We have successfully survived the summer heat of the desert and have become more accustomed to spending more time indoors than we were previously used to.

I have learned more about myself and what I can cope with and what I need to keep me going and to sustain my happiness.  I have become a little bit braver and I am so grateful for my husband, my family, my friends (home and stateside), and my faith for getting me through.  Roll on the next twelve months!