So, its January, time is marching on into the month and I’ve been thinking about writing, but not writing…I’m avoiding it….so I have a little time right now and rather than be distracted I am going to be purposeful and I am going to say it out loud.

You see, I set myself a challenge and I didn’t finish it and I am no way near a completer/finisher in my traits, but I am stubborn and I like to get to the end of something – it doesn’t have to be perfect, but I like to get there.  And I wanted to work out what I had learnt from the process of writing every day and I know some of what I have learnt, but the hurdle is that I wobbled, I wobbled and fell off the emotional “I’m OK”, getting on with things in a different country far from friends and family kind of way.

I fell and there was a trigger – which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really matter what it was – and that sent me on a downward spiral of thoughts and emotions and tears, lots of tears.  I haven’t had a good cry in some time – sometimes its cathartic, but this time it just felt like my grip on the edge had slipped and once the tears stopped, it took me a little while to climb back out.

So the Advent daily writing stopped.  I’ve got photos and bits that I was going to write about and perhaps I’ll do a mini catch up.  Being back in a more positive frame of mind, I did manage quite a few days and really I am a ‘glass half full’ kinda girl, so that’s pretty good.

Holiday times are the harder part of being in a different country.  You create new traditions and work at making it bright and sparkly for your family, but it’s not quite the same and deep down there is a little ache.  I hadn’t noticed it until I wobbled and perhaps I wasn’t listening closely enough to myself as a friend noticed it in my writing and emailed me about it.  That makes me well up now….

Anyway, I think my theme for this year is going to be about nurturing.  Nurturing myself and nurturing others.  I’m already feeling a little in the middle of two forces pulling me in different directions and I think I need to be conscious of nurturing myself for self preservation as we go into this year of transition.  I’m going to think about that some more….purposeful and present on this journey of adventure.